


conflict of interest

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-24
Updated: 2009-07-24
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:04:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12712005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: The gradual progression of Pin, or five times Pin weren’t exactly friends anymore and the one time they couldn’t go back.





	conflict of interest

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written for je_fqfest 2009.

> **.it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this [1]**

As most things in Jin’s life, including his job, it happened by complete accident. ‘It’ is what it was referred to thereafter, mostly because Jin couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

Yamapi, of course, thought it was hilarious. “Hey Jin,” he would say, a devious twinkle in his eyes coupled with the high-pitched Akira laugh. “Do you remember that time we kissed?”

Honestly, Jin couldn’t forget it. He had _tried_.

It’s not like it was his first kiss, unless gender made a difference. Jin tried to be neutral about these kinds of things; he’d met a lot of people in L.A. who went both ways or the other way entirely, and he didn’t like to be one to judge. But this wasn’t about them – it was about him.

He liked it. And that was the damn truth.

Sometimes the truth _hurt_.

Laying there on his back, all those years ago, he kept telling himself that it was unavoidable. The way they lost balance, tumbled to the floor, all in the second where _Yamapi_ was the only one capable of making a decision.

The decision he had made was to kiss Jin.

Jin wasn’t sure what was more shocking – the fact that Yamapi’s entire weight falling on top of him wasn’t that uncomfortable, the thoughtful placement of Yamapi’s hand behind Jin’s head, or how Yamapi’s lips pressing against his had felt so _natural_.

No, Jin didn’t think that he would ever be able to forget it.

He might have thought about it every time he looked as Yamapi’s lips thereafter, particularly when his tongue had just darted out to wet them.

He might have wanted to wet them with his own tongue.

It was only like a half a second, but it was in that half a second that his entire outlook changed. His outlook on life, on himself, on his friendship with Yamapi.

For that half a second, they were Pin. ****

> **.liquid courage means that you can still deny it in the morning [2]**

He can’t count on both hands and feet how many times he and Yamapi have drunk together, with other people as well as by themselves. Especially when they were younger (and it was still “thrilling” because they were underage), drinking together meant getting stupid drunk to the point where Jin didn’t remember what happened the night before.

Yamapi was always there when he woke up, though, so whatever he did couldn’t have been that bad. The most extreme morning-afters had involved Yamapi drooling in his hair and an entire one of Jin’s mom’s pies mysteriously disappearing from the fridge.

That all being said, now he was grown enough to hold his alcohol better and be fully aware of his actions, even if he can’t exactly stop himself from doing what feels good. The lack of inhibitions that usually got him into trouble with girls was doing so again, only this time it was with Yamapi and the latter didn’t seem to be resisting at all.

Yamapi was just as drunk as he was, if not more. Jin couldn’t remember anymore than that, which included who else was there and what they had been doing that had led him to just grab Yamapi by the hair and crush their mouths together, but at the time it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Despite the initial nose-bumping and teeth-banging, their lips found each other and it was so much better than a half-second. Not to mention that this time it was intentional, made clear by Jin’s hand fisting Yamapi’s hair and the automatic movement of his lips against Yamapi’s.

It didn’t even matter that Yamapi didn’t respond immediately. There wasn’t even a sharp intake of breath to imply that he was surprised at all. His friend was kissing him and he seemed unfazed, like it was for a drama or something. That line of thought pissed Jin off to no end, made him determined to be better than that and he tilted his head, running his tongue between Yamapi’s thick lips to coerce them open.

Then Yamapi exhaled through his nose, the air tickling Jin’s cheek in a poor attempt of a warning before he reacted so fast that he overcame Jin’s senses completely. Those lips parted at the same time hands slid up Jin’s back to clutch onto the fabric of his shirt, that tongue slipping out to flick against Jin’s and leave him incapable of stopping the moan that formed at the contact.

Kissing Yamapi seemed more intoxicating than the drinks they’d mixed, the lingering traces of which mixed once again as their tongues slipped together lazily but with persistence. Jin’s fingers tightened on Yamapi’s curls and _finally_ the other made a noise, something Jin hadn’t known he wanted to hear before he heard it, felt the vibrations on his tongue.

His head was spinning, overwhelmed by Yamapi, his scent and taste and the way it felt to be in his arms. Here Jin thought that anything was possible, that anything could happen and it would be okay no matter what as long as Yamapi wanted it too.

He was much too gone to think any more than that.

But he felt it, all of it, the shameless way he pulled Yamapi closer and moved his tongue like he was making love to Yamapi’s mouth, the way Yamapi twisted his shirt tighter and breathed harder as the pressure increased. Jin found himself between Yamapi and the back of the couch, Yamapi’s leg next to his as he practically twisted around to kiss him. It wouldn’t take that much for Yamapi to fling that leg across his lap and straddle him, or even push him down and lay on top of him, escalating this even more into the images that Jin has only dared to let himself imagine while in this state.

It was probably the only time he’d been grateful to be too drunk to get it up. Or stay awake, being as the next thing he remembered is waking up with a pounding headache and Yamapi passed out next to him, practically curled up in his lap, sleeping and oblivious. Jin can feel his even heartbeat, the soft puffs of air against his throat, and the lax way his arm is flung across Jin’s waist, along with other feelings that can’t be seen.

Above all of that, though, is the tingling that still remains on Jin’s lips. ****

> **.cut out the middleman and save more [3]**

He’d been waiting all night for this, his one night off in the midst of concert planning and singles and dramas. Not that he hasn’t had nights off before in the past couple months, but they hadn’t coincided with Yamapi’s.

Off nights aren’t fun unless they’re spent relaxing with friends, in his opinion.

Surrounded by boxes of take-out and beer bottles, Yamapi and Jin kick each other’s asses in video games until they can’t focus anymore. Ryo’s there too, loudly providing his unwanted commentary that Jin tunes out as he finally flings his controller across the room in dramatic defeat.

He reaches for the remote instead, clicking over to the DVD player and realizing a second too late that he should have checked the disc first.

“Oh _hell_ yes,” Ryo says before Jin can change the channel.

Yamapi makes an approving noise and Jin can’t bear to look at him, either of them actually, because nothing good can come out of three guys watching porn together.

Unsurprisingly, Jin’s only regret is that Ryo is sitting in the middle. Of course, Ryo is also the one who slouches back against the couch and immediately squeezes between his legs, earning an incredulous look from Yamapi as well as Jin.

Ryo’s eyes fly open to glare at them both in turn. “What.”

Yamapi turns his attention back to the TV, where he inhales sharply as the slutty foreign girl takes a monster cock into her mouth and makes obscene slurping noises. The light illuminating Yamapi’s face flickers with each angle change, highlighting the creases at the corners of his mouth as he presumably comes to the decision to follow Ryo’s shameless lead.

It seems that Yamapi’s more subtle about it, at least compared to Ryo. While Ryo already has his hand in his pants, quick breaths paling in comparison to the moan track in surround sound, Yamapi appears to be teasing himself. His fingers drift slowly down his chest, bypassing the visible bump in his track pants and gripping onto his thigh instead.

_Jin’s_ breath hitches in his throat when Yamapi’s thumb stretches out to brush against his bulge, back arching at the mere contact with a small groan that seems to override both the TV and Ryo’s noises to reach Jin’s strained ears. He wonders if Yamapi would be a slow lover, testing every inch of the other person’s body to gauge what they liked until he had it memorized. Maybe he’d prefer to do it with his mouth, those beautiful lips dragging along skin and sucking lightly, just a small sample of what he could do.

Casually Jin leans against the couch and has never before been so grateful for Ryo’s lack of height, looking straight over his head and down into Yamapi’s lap without making it glaringly obvious that he’s staring. Not that either of them would notice with the way they’re both transfixed on the TV, which only has Jin a little jealous that Yamapi’s probably imagining that girl in his head.

He makes it until Yamapi finally takes out his cock, fist moving over the swollen head with a deep groan that seems to vibrate the couch, and Jin’s rushing to do the same. His body curls into his own touch, pushing more into the funnel of his hand because he wants it that badly, he’s waited too long and he can’t hold back anymore.

He’s never been one to be loud during these kinds of activities but now he finds his fist in his mouth, biting back the moans that threaten to release because that would be too much, too weird, and Ryo would probably smack him.

Even now, Jin’s only regret is still Ryo between them, legs spread and thrusting up into his own hand. Not that he’d do anything if they were closer, except maybe drop his head onto Yamapi’s shoulder under the pretense of being unable to hold it up. He could hear more of Yamapi’s noises, feel his body jerk as he touches himself, smell his shampoo and maybe even lean up to kiss him, feel those lips against his again and possibly turn the attention to him.

It’s that thought that has Jin turning completely to the side, almost in the fetal position as he shudders and comes into his hand, nearly gnawing his knuckles raw with his teeth.

When he opens his eyes, Yamapi is staring straight at him, his actions speeding up while his breath hitches and his face contorts, a high-pitched sound escaping as his body rocks into his own touch and he rushes to push his shirt up and release onto his stomach.

“Amateurs,” Ryo mutters, still going strong as the man on the TV spins the girl around and bends her over. “First one to come gets the tissues.”

Luckily, the box is right next to Jin. ****

> **.dream lover, let it burn [4]**

Jin’s not a light sleeper, particularly when he’s been drinking, but the barely audible sound from across the hall has him wide awake and sober in an instant. His body breaks out into a cold sweat as his eyes fly open, staring unseeingly in the darkness that separates his bedroom from Yamapi’s.

A split-second decision has him untangling himself from his covers, nearly falling out of bed and tripping across the room until his body catches up with his mind and he can function enough to fling open Yamapi’s door and dive-bomb right onto his bed.

“Pi, wake up,” Jin says groggily, his voice much sleepier than he is. “You’re having a bad dream, wake up.”

He can see the shiny streaks on Yamapi’s face that reflect the light pouring in from the hallway, the pink of his nose that has Jin grabbing both shoulders and shaking him. At first contact, though, Yamapi’s arms clamp around him and lock, leaving him unable to move as Yamapi pulls him as close as humanly possible and presses his face into Jin’s shoulder.

“ _Jin_ ,” he whimpers in a voice Jin never wants to hear again.

“I’m right here, wake up,” Jin whispers softly, one hand lifting to run his fingers through Yamapi’s hair. “You have to wake up.”

“Don’t leave me!” Yamapi growls, squeezing Jin even harder. “What am I supposed to do without you?!”

“ _Wake up_!” Jin yells at the top of his lungs, yanking on Yamapi’s hair with all his strength because Yamapi’s always had a tender head and if nothing else, at least he’ll be in enough pain to get out of his nightmare.

When he’s greeted with an unexpected noise, Jin’s not sure whether to be grateful or incredulous at the turn of events. Regardless, Yamapi’s strength disappears as fast as it had come and Jin’s left on top of him, one hand tangled in his hair and one leg between Yamapi’s as he becomes very aware of Yamapi’s body that echoes his vocal reaction.

“Are you awake?” he asks carefully, gently threading the hair that has become a little damp between his fingers.

“Jin,” Yamapi says again, all breath and no depth as he turns his head to press his nose into Jin’s cheek. “Jin?”

“It’s me,” Jin replies, swallowing at the uninhibited emotions he can feel from the trembling body beneath him. “Wake up.”

Another unexpected noise, but this one has Jin smiling because it’s a chuckle. “I like this dream much better.”

It’s such a _Yamapi_ response that Jin thinks he’s awake, at least until Yamapi follows it with a moan that seems to reverberate throughout his entire body. Jin starts to pull away but Yamapi is having none of it, halting Jin’s attempts not by force but by bribe, dragging his lips along the underside of Jin’s jaw and flicking his tongue out to lick the skin.

In his sleep.

Jin feels half guilty and half disappointed, which leaves no room for any kind of shame as he stretches his neck on impulse, holding his breath as Yamapi lazily kisses back behind his ear and down his neck. His body starts rocking of its own volition, rubbing against the top of Yamapi’s thigh that rises to meet him with enough pressure to have him biting back a groan, inadvertently lifting his knee and freezing when he feels Yamapi _twitch_ against him.

“Jin,” Yamapi whispers again, in a completely different tone from before that Jin can _feel_ in his neck as well as in the fingers digging into his waist.

The next thing he knows, Yamapi’s pulled him all the way over, and Jin doesn’t even have time to widen his eyes before he’s groaning, outright this time, straddling Yamapi’s lap and automatically moving against him. Yamapi’s rock hard and Jin’s getting harder with each grind, his face in Yamapi’s hair that’s muffling his uncontrollable noises as the friction builds between them.

“Pi,” Jin finds himself gasping, his nerves on end as they move together, Jin’s hips rolling desperately as his skin tingles everywhere Yamapi touches him.

Hands slide up his arms, hot breath on his face as Yamapi pushes back, their own private dance for only the two of them to see. Jin thrusts like he’s having sex, grinding against the firm bulge in Yamapi’s shorts and gasping when it rubs him just right.

Yamapi’s lips are on him again, wet kisses sounding in his ear along with tiny pleas of “yeah, more, good” that have Jin ready to tear off their clothes and go at it for real.

Because this isn’t real enough.

Before that thought scares him too much, Yamapi’s nudging him with his nose, and the cloud of arousal in his mind makes him vaguely aware that Yamapi wants something, although he has no idea what it is. Without breaking his rhythm, he turns his head and ends up with Yamapi in his mouth, kissing him like it’s the means to breathe, hot tongues and wet lips combining naturally.

Jin feels Yamapi’s whimper on his tongue and can tell that he’s going to come before his body even starts shaking. Nails dig into his bare arms and Jin can _feel_ it, the pulse of Yamapi’s cock that has him moaning softly into Jin’s mouth and arching beneath him.

It’s a combination of the sounds and scratching that pushes Jin over the edge, kissing the breath out of Yamapi who responds just as eagerly despite his trembling body. The scent of Yamapi’s sweat mixed with what’s left of his cologne has Jin feeling like he’s the one who’s asleep and dreaming-

Then his mind clears, reality sets in, and he uses the last of his strength to lean up on his elbows and look down into the relaxed face of Yamapi.

Who is still asleep.

This is worse than forcing, Jin thinks, feeling disgusted with himself as he reluctantly escapes from Yamapi’s clutches and ignores the little whine that sounds from the other as he leaves the room.

He goes to bed feeling even guiltier and vows to never tell anyone – even Yamapi – about what just happened. ****

> **.swallow it down, it tastes better than the truth [5]**

It’s not a date.

Jin looks everywhere but the man in front of him, who is deftly looping Jin’s tie over and under, the very tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in thought.

Thinking about Yamapi’s tongue has Jin a little hot under the collar. It doesn’t help that he’s in a full suit and tie, which Yamapi has just fastened to his satisfaction, clapping Jin on the shoulder before offering a friendly smile.

Friendly. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Shall we go?” Yamapi asks, holding back a smirk because they’re about to go to Kato’s stage play.

Jin nods, trying to contain himself. Shrugging into his blazer, he catches his reflection in the hallway mirror and puts on his best oblivious face.

It has a bit of a flush, but it will have to do.

The ride to the venue is silent, comfortable, the radio on low and the windows up to save their hair. Jin watches Yamapi in his peripheral vision, the calm way he drives leaned back in his seat, sinking into the leather and looking to all the world like he’s completely relaxed.

“Hey,” Jin starts, speaking before he’s even processed his words and immediately feeling tense.

“Hmm?” Yamapi asks without taking his eyes off the road.

“Nothing,” Jin replies quickly, staring out the window and pretending to be very interested in the surroundings that whip by.

It’s a credit to their friendship that Yamapi just lets it go.

When they get to the theater, the place is packed and Jin feels more anxious with all of these people around. The seats are small and Jin can feel Yamapi’s thigh against his, firm and warm and doing nothing to help him calm down.

He tries to concentrate on the play, but it’s about a sex addict and even though the main role is played by Kato, Jin still finds himself affected by the atmosphere. It seems very warm in the theater all of the sudden, particularly where his leg touches Yamapi’s and where his hands make fists on his knees.

Then another hand clamps down on top of his and Jin nearly jumps. Yamapi’s squeezing his hand until it relaxes, so firmly that Jin flicks his eyes to the side in confusion.

Yamapi offers a quick smile, one with absolutely no meaning behind it, and pats the back of Jin’s hand twice before letting go. Jin’s skin _burns_ from the contact, enough to cause his body to visibly jerk so obviously that everyone in the row had to have felt it, let alone Yamapi.

“Calm down,” a barely audible voice breathes from next to him, and Jin’s nodding before he processes the words.

He freezes when the realization catches up with him, which has Yamapi’s hand on his again, gently rubbing Jin’s knuckles with the soft pad of his thumb. The action is more relaxing than anything else and Jin leans back in his chair, tuning out the play in favor of the slow circles Yamapi is making that seem to be taking over his brain.

“Okay?” Yamapi whispers, his actions coming to a halt as he goes to return his hand to his side of the armrest.

“Don’t stop,” Jin says before he can stop himself, his cheeks flaming by the second word. “I mean -”

“It’s okay,” Yamapi replies, and Jin can’t look at him, can’t see his face or take his words at anything other but face value, even when Yamapi pulls away long enough to shrug out of his blazer.

Jin just figures that Yamapi’s warm too, most likely due to the temperature in the theater as opposed to any _other_ reason. Jin actually thinks that the other man has the right idea and considers getting out of his own blazer until Yamapi’s is flung across his lap, their joined hands placed underneath.

His hand is flipped over and Jin shivers at the way Yamapi’s fingers trail along each one of his, across his palm and meeting resistance at his pulse point where the cuff of his sleeve is fastened snugly. Yamapi pops the button and it feels just as intimate as if it was the button on his pants, nails dancing lightly along the inside of Jin’s arm up to his elbow.

A chill courses through him and he can practically _feel_ Yamapi’s smirk, wondering what kind of game they’re playing and whether he wants to win or lose. The answer comes when Yamapi’s hand blatantly drops to Jin’s leg, fingering his inseam and moving higher when Jin’s thighs fall open in shock.

“Pi-” he starts, almost squeaking until Yamapi squeezes his inner thigh in a way that Jin’s sure is counterproductive to his intentions.

“Shh,” Yamapi hisses, like he’s not the one causing it, like his enjoyment of his bandmate’s play is disturbed by Jin’s noises.

Jin doesn’t even _see_ Kato anymore, despite his eyes being as wide as they will go. Without thinking, he slouches down in his seat and leans his head against the back, turning towards Yamapi just enough so that his knee doesn’t bump the person on the _other_ side as he spreads them even more.

He can see Yamapi out of the corner of his eye, face void of all emotion like usual. He appears to be immersed in the play but Jin knows better, bites his lip as the swirls of Yamapi’s touch reach the base of his growing erection and has him fighting not to arch in his seat.

Yamapi’s knuckles brush against him and he’s completely hard in an instant, using all of his strength to keep from pushing up and making it obvious to their entire row that the blazer isn’t across Jin’s lap because he’s _cold_.

He’s nearly shaking from the effort it takes to hold still, unaware that his head is falling to the side until it lands on Yamapi’s shoulder, his hair draping across his face in more of a curtain than he could have hoped for at this moment.

Yamapi slides a single finger up Jin’s length through the dress pants that are becoming entirely too tight, and Jin prides himself in holding back the moan that wants to be heard. A palm closes over the head of his cock and his breath hitches silently in his throat, struggling to exhale through his nose as Yamapi starts massaging him firmly.

A tiny whimper escapes and Yamapi’s touch disappears. Jin’s eyes fly open, his mind filling with excuses, all of them flying out of his head when he feels Yamapi’s fingers on his belt, expertly unfastening it with one hand. The thought of stopping him doesn’t even cross his mind as he enlists his own hands to help, lifting up as much as he dares to push his pants down enough for Yamapi to slip inside and wrap a hand around him.

At once the teasing ends, Yamapi stroking him firmly and quickly like he’s trying to bring him off as soon as possible, Jin’s bottom lip back in his mouth to muffle the noises that threaten to explode from him as his eyes squeeze shut and he presses his face into Yamapi’s shoulder just in case. He doesn’t notice that Yamapi’s head is leaning against his until he feels a harsh breath in his hair, followed by a very, _very_ faint groan.

The thought of Yamapi getting turned on by touching Jin has the last of his self-restraint crumbling, gasping softly into Yamapi’s shirt as he motionlessly snaps his hips into Yamapi’s hand. Once, twice, and he’s coming, biting down onto Yamapi’s shoulder to keep from crying out as he spills over Yamapi’s fingers and trembles from the force of it.

All around him, the sounds of the play and Kato’s voice come back to full volume like they’d actually been turned down, but Yamapi’s rushed breath overrides all of it, particularly when his hand flies out of Jin’s pants and he’s out of his seat, hunched over in a way that would seem apologetic to the rest of the patrons in their row as he makes his way to the aisle.

Jin tries to put his thoughts together as he quietly fixes his pants, balling up Yamapi’s blazer in his lap and considering his options for a few more seconds. He’s up and out and heading for the bathroom before it occurs to him that Yamapi might have gone to the car to freak out. He stands in front of the only closed stall, contemplating his options, until the door clicks open and he’s pulled in by his tie.

The door closes again, this time with Jin up against it and someone in his mouth, someone who tastes like Yamapi and smells like Yamapi, even feels like Yamapi when Jin’s arms automatically lift to embrace him.

Yamapi flattens him against the door and Jin can feel it, how hard that little private performance in the theater made him, and Jin reaches down without a second thought. He squeezes Yamapi through his pants and feels the moan on his tongue, has to struggle to stay upright with the way Yamapi’s grinding them both into the door.

“How’d you know it was me?” Jin manages to ask between breathless kisses, both hands on Yamapi’s belt because he’s not nearly as dexterous as the other.

“Shoes,” Yamapi replies, his voice deeper than normal and sending a chill down Jin’s spine, which intensifies at the silent moan that Yamapi nearly chokes on when Jin pulls out his cock.

Yamapi stops moving on his own, only flows with Jin’s strokes as his forehead falls to Jin’s shoulder and his hand rest loosely on Jin’s waist. Jin’s amazed at the weight of Yamapi in his hold and how it’s so much different than his own, how Yamapi’s breath quickens when he gets close to the head and pulls the foreskin back on the downstroke.

“Jin,” Yamapi gasps, almost a plea, and Jin knows what he wants because he’d want the same thing if their positions were reversed.

And while he’s not sure if Yamapi would actually do it, Jin’s already sliding to his knees by the time his brain catches up with him. It’s Yamapi’s incredulous noise that actually has him leaning in and flicking his tongue against the smooth head, Yamapi’s hands immediately grabbing onto Jin’s hair in the most encouraging action possible.

It slides past his lips easily, a tiny drop of precome bitter on his tongue as he relaxes his throat and takes him over halfway in. He doesn’t want to chance doing any more, but Yamapi seems more than approving of this much judging by the way he’s twisting Jin’s hair with all five fingers and wavering in his stance.

Jin feels Yamapi’s groan through his cock, practically vibrating in his mouth as he starts to move and prays that nobody else decided to take a mid-show break. Yamapi’s not that loud, which arouses Jin even more as he thinks about how those noises would sound in his ear, his body coming back to life with each throb of Yamapi’s length in his mouth.

Another groan slips out between hurried breaths and Jin knows that he’s close, can feel Yamapi’s body tense under his fingertips as his hands slide around Yamapi’s waist to take hold of his ass, Yamapi’s own hands nearly pulling Jin’s hair out of his scalp as he makes a strained noise and very pointedly yanks Jin back.

Jin chuckles, which makes Yamapi’s head fall back as Jin’s eyes dart up to look at him, watching his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as Jin finally does what Yamapi wants and sucks on the swollen head on his cock.

“ _Jin_ ,” Yamapi hisses, loosening his grip on Jin’s hair. “Oh god, I’m gonna come…”

Jin only thinks about pulling back for a second, then braces himself as Yamapi sputters in his mouth and nearly falls over from the impact. Jin manages to hold him up, letting Yamapi’s cock fall from his lips as he shakily gets to his own feet and forces himself to swallow.

He expects an are-you-fucking-crazy? expression from his best friend/roommate/coworker/whatever he is when Jin meets his eyes, but for the first time Yamapi’s emotions are practically written on his face as he regards Jin like he just did something _amazing_.

Amazing like climb Mt. Fuji or something equally as awe-inspiring, but Jin supposes a really damn good blowjob rates up there. He’s about to brag, maybe crack a joke, anything to clear the tension in the atmosphere when Yamapi pulls on his tie again and kisses him earnestly, tasting himself and making Jin fight to keep from getting aroused again.

Then Yamapi pats him on the shoulder and hops as he fastens his pants. It should be awkward but it’s not, even when Yamapi bangs the stall door open and they’re greeted with their own flushed reflections in the mirror.

“Your hair looks like shit,” Yamapi tells him, followed by a laugh as he strides out the door and leaves Jin alone with his rapid heartbeat.

Jin shrugs and fixes his hair, putting on his game face before returning to the theater. If Yamapi can be casual about this, then so can he. ****

> **.love is a highway – you go halfway, you get nowhere [+1]**

The road stretches ahead of them, their options as endless as the horizon in the distance. Jin leans back in the passenger seat, nearly horizontal as the clouds whip by over the sunroof. His mind is clear and his body relaxed, not a care in the world as they leave the city behind and head for the unknown.

“Jin.”

“Hmm?” Jin replies, his eyes slipping shut.

It takes him a minute to notice that Yamapi hasn’t responded, even longer to detect the lack of motion. He opens his eyes and sees one single cloud through the tinted glass, then Yamapi’s solemn face as the latter stares at the nothingness surrounding them.

“Did something happen to the car?” Jin asks.

Yamapi takes a deep breath. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Jin’s world stops. He doesn’t feel the warm summer breeze, hear the soft music emanating from the speakers or even acknowledge the uncomfortable way he twists to look straight at Yamapi, who is the only thing he sees right now.

“What?” he asks incredulously, then inwardly kicks himself for such a rude reaction. “I mean-”

“I was going to wait until we got to the resort to talk to you about it,” Yamapi goes on, like Jin hadn’t even spoken, and it’s at this point that Jin realizes Yamapi is struggling to concentrate on his words and probably oblivious to Jin’s reaction. “But I couldn’t wait anymore.”

Jin wants to look around them, see where they are, see if Yamapi actually pulled onto the shoulder or just parked in the middle of the road – he wouldn’t put it past him – but all he can do is stare at Yamapi’s face, watching him breathe calmly like he’s just done the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life, and for all Jin knows he really did.

“ _How,_ ” is all Jin can think of to ask, although he’s fairly certain that he already knows the answer. “How do you think of me?”

Yamapi only meets his eyes for a second, but it’s long enough for Jin to have his answer, the lust nearly knocking him backwards as every nerve in his body wants Yamapi to act on his thoughts.

“It’s wrong, isn’t it?”

Yamapi’s mouth is moving and his voice is sounding, but Jin has to concentrate hard to focus on his actual words. It takes him a second to actually hear what Yamapi is saying, then he sits straight up and cringes at the way his back protests. “Pi-”

“It’s okay when we’re drunk or really… you know…” Yamapi makes a pained face and Jin feels it in his heart. “But isn’t it different when I’m thinking about it at other times?” He clears his throat and adds, in a rush, “allthetime.”

Jin swallows and carefully reaches out for Yamapi’s shoulder, bracing himself for the flinch that inevitably comes. He doesn’t shrug Jin away, though, and Jin takes that as a sign to proceed. “I think it’s okay.”

Yamapi scoffs. “You would.”

“Hey,” Jin says so firmly that Yamapi turns to look at him with wounded eyes. “I think about you too.”

“Really?” Yamapi asks, his voice taking on a hopeful tone, like everything would be okay as long as Jin is in the same boat as him.

After all of these years, Jin’s finally starting to understand Yamapi’s logic. “Yeah,” he replies, smiling as Yamapi looks considerably happier. “I think it’s okay.”

“You said that already,” Yamapi chides, but he’s smiling. “How do you think of me?”

“I asked you first,” Jin shoots back, hoping that he doesn’t sound as young as he feels.

Yamapi laughs, biting his lip as a flush crosses his cheeks. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? We’ve done everything else.”

What _isn’t_ being said is what Jin hears loud and clear, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, he’s strangely relieved. “Yeah, me too.”

Yamapi surreptitiously licks his lips, an action that does not go unnoticed, and Yamapi blushes even harder when he catches Jin watching him. It’s cute, Jin thinks, and it’s a credit to how deep he’s fallen that he can’t even berate himself for such a girly feeling.

“Come here,” he says, the words leaving his lips before he thinks about it once again, but this time he’s glad for it because he doesn’t think he’d be able to say them otherwise.

At first glance it doesn’t appear that Yamapi has heard him, but Jin knows better and gives it one, two, and on the third second Yamapi pounces, banging his knee on the console and nearly landing with his entire weight on Jin’s nuts, but their mouths line up and that’s all that matters as Jin tastes Yamapi’s passion and everything neither one of them can say.

Jin’s seat clicks down all the way and Yamapi straddles him awkwardly; it’s better when he’s awake and Jin wonders if he’ll ever tell him about that time, which seems like a dream despite _Yamapi_ being the one who was asleep for it. Right now he’s wide awake, though, hands sliding up Yamapi’s arms that embrace him, with no regard to limits or boundaries except the physical ones that keep reminding them where they are.

“Pi,” Jin says desperately, followed by a choked breath because Yamapi’s rolling his hips against him, creating more of that delicious friction that gets better as he gets harder. “How far are we from the resort?”

“Too far,” Yamapi mumbles against his lips, and something snaps in Jin’s mind because _this_ is a side of Yamapi that he hasn’t seen before; the Yamapi who can act freely is a lot more in control than Jin would have thought, although most of the control seems to be over Jin instead of himself.

It’s partially Jin’s fault, though, the way he melts under Yamapi’s hands and can’t do much except _react_. With girls he likes to be the one on top, the one with the power, but with Yamapi it seems okay to submit, his body rocking to meet Yamapi’s motions but otherwise remaining still. Waiting.

Yamapi grinds against him pointedly and Jin’s legs fall open, Yamapi settling between them like it’s natural. Never mind the seat belt buckle digging into Jin’s hip or the door panel his knee keeps bumping into; his focus is on Yamapi hard against him, wide-awake and more motivated than Jin has seen him before, at least in this light.

He feels Yamapi’s groan on his tongue and Yamapi’s fingers at his waist, nimbly unfastening Jin’s pants and tugging them down with intent. Jin lifts his hips obligingly, just like that time in the theater yet not, nowhere _close_ , the leather of Yamapi’s upholstery smooth against his bare skin as more and more of them are exposed.

“Pi,” Jin gasps, not much of a protest judging by the way he tilts his head to kiss Yamapi more deeply, wrapping both arms around his neck.

“I want you,” Yamapi says, his voice gruff and laced with addiction. “Please let me have you.”

Right now, Jin thinks that Yamapi can have whatever he wants, especially if he keeps rubbing Jin’s hip like that. Slow but forceful, and all Jin can do is nod, pulling Yamapi back towards him, back into his mouth as Yamapi takes his time pushing Jin’s pants down his legs.

He takes so long that Jin kicks them off himself, ignoring the chuckle from Yamapi as he gets to work on Yamapi’s belt and wraps his thighs around Yamapi’s waist. Jin doesn’t question why Yamapi has lube in his car, or how he seems to know what he’s doing as he relaxes the sensitive muscle between Jin’s legs while kissing him harder in distraction.

It works and Jin’s body opens for him, the foreign touch becoming more pleasant as Yamapi probes deeper inside. “Pi…”

“Don’t call me that when we’re like this,” Yamapi says, voice stern and deep enough to make Jin shudder.

“Tomo,” Jin tries again, and Yamapi grunts approvingly, slipping in a second finger and stretching him purposefully. “ _Tomo_.”

“Jin,” Yamapi whispers, more breath than voice as he grazes something inside Jin that has him arching and sucking in his air. “Mmm, I want you so badly.”

“Do it,” Jin manages to sputter out, his body automatically rocking back towards Yamapi’s touch as his brain becomes more and more overpowered by whatever button Yamapi is pushing inside him. “Do _me_.”

Yamapi growls approvingly and drops his mouth to Jin’s neck, slowly approaching dangerous territory. Jin squirms, eyes rolling back in his head as he inadvertently pushes back against Yamapi’s fingers. He braces himself for the contact and still jolts when it happens, Yamapi pressing one single kiss to Jin’s collarbone and lingering. His breath tickles the very sensitive skin, and in this instance it’s more arousing than annoying with the slow way Yamapi is moving his lips, his fingers slowing to move in time.

“Enough,” Jin hisses, his hands finding a life of their own as they reach for Yamapi’s belt and practically rip it off, wrapping his fingers around the heavy erection beneath. Yamapi’s breath hitches in his throat and Jin smiles at the way Yamapi thrusts into his hand, blindly reaching for the lube to get him ready.

Yamapi’s fingers continue to stretch him purposely as his mouth latches onto Jin’s neck, half breathing and half sucking with a little whimper from Jin’s actions. Jin makes his hand tighter and Yamapi pushes harder, his fingers leaving Jin’s body in favor of something much bigger, something that Jin’s not sure he’ll be able to take.

“Jin, I…” Yamapi pants, and Jin’s blood runs hot because he knows exactly what Yamapi’s about to say, something that shouldn’t be said like this.

“Fuck me,” Jin interrupts him, the first thing he can think of to say as he spreads his thighs guided by Yamapi’s fingers and does his best to relax when he feels the blunt head of Yamapi’s cock against his rim.

Yamapi moans in response, gently pushing in and kissing Jin’s collarbone enough to ease the sharp pain. The rumble in his voice seems to shake the entire car, and Jin finds himself even more turned on as his body welcomes Yamapi inside him and adjusts to the thick length.

“Jin,” Yamapi says again, hot breath on his skin and fingers clawing at his hips as he trembles from holding back. “You feel so good.”

“Move,” Jin rasps, his throat dry as his body tingles from head to toe. All he wants right now is to _feel_ , even if it means a dull ache because he knows it’s going to get better.

It has to be good, it’s Yamapi.

Sure enough, Yamapi gives a tentative rock of his hips and Jin can’t stop the moan that tears from his lungs, the weight of Yamapi’s warm body on top of him and his hard cock inside him that hits Jin right where he wants as he becomes more accustomed to the intrusion.

Jin’s body rocks automatically, accepting Yamapi in deeper and taking pride in the way Yamapi moans and clings to him. He pushes back and Yamapi snaps into action, thrusting wildly and breathing heavily as he thrusts in and out of Jin.

“Tomo,” Jin breathes, no voice left to use as his mind, body, and soul are overcome with Yamapi all around him, inside him. His hands latch onto Yamapi’s waist, fingers settling in the crevices of his hips as they move.

He can’t read Yamapi’s mind but he can definitely feel his emotion through the soft grunts and hard squeezes as Yamapi’s arms rise to loop around Jin’s shoulders. It’s like they’re molded together into one person, joined at the spot that has Jin arching as Yamapi pounds against it, feeling more aroused than he’s ever been as every nerve in his body is on edge.

“Touch yourself,” Yamapi hisses into his skin, damp with sweat from their efforts, and the words alone have Jin ready to burst. “Come with me, Jin.”

Jin reaches down to wrap his fingers around his own cock, hot and heavy in his own hand, and instantly his body trembles in release, clenching around Yamapi so tightly that Yamapi practically screams, the noise taking him higher as he pulls himself off and feels the warm liquid spill over his fingers.

Yamapi’s right behind him, thrusting sharply once, twice, and then a low groan, the tension dispersing from them and between them as Jin rides the waves of orgasm as long as he can with Yamapi in his arms.

It’s not until Yamapi takes a deep breath that Jin comes back to reality, the fatigue and soreness catching up with him even as Yamapi’s gentle hands coax his legs down and rub the strained muscles of his inner thighs. His eyes are closed but he can still find Yamapi’s lips, their kiss tasting sweeter as one tongue slowly slides against the other without any rush or urgency.

Yamapi finds some tissues in the console to clean up with, and it’s just as awkward as it should be. Jin laughs first, then Yamapi, and soon they’re both shaking with laughter in the passenger seat of Yamapi’s car on the side of some rural highway.

Jin finally opens his eyes, and his first thought is whether his face is as red as Yamapi’s. Yamapi seems to be _glowing_ , the tail ends of laughter becoming a smile that he can’t hold back, and Jin only meets his gaze for a second before Yamapi’s looking away, busying himself with finding Jin’s pants.

“Ow,” Jin mutters as he tries to get up, the combination of the car seat and their previous endeavors leaving him rather unmotivated to get dressed. “Next time you’re taking it.”

Yamapi pauses as he crawls back into the driver’s seat, fixing Jin with an odd look. He stares at him for a long time, and it’s one of the many times that Jin wishes he could read Yamapi’s mind.

Something in Yamapi’s eyes changes, and Jin can’t help but smile at the way Yamapi looks at him. A noncommittal grunt, and Yamapi’s starting up the car.

“Put your pants on,” is all he says, and even with the miles of road before them, even though Jin ignores him, Jin’s pretty sure that this is exactly where he wants to be.


End file.
